Everyone has their own personal style and because of that, living with others can be a challenge. But with a few basic ground rules, the benefits of splitting living expenses and living with roommates can far outweigh the challenges.
Follow the Golden Rule. First things first, our best tip on living with anyone is to follow the Golden Rule: treat that person how you would like to be treated. In other words, don’t eat their food and certainly not the last of their Girl Scout cookies – especially since those cookies will be hard to come by until next season. Don’t leave the door unlocked when you go for a run. No one likes to come back to a ransacked apartment and a missing laptop. Don’t invite friends over without mentioning it – especially the night before a big job interview or midterm exams. Start with the golden rule as your foundation and you’ll seldom run into issues during cohabitation.
Establish boundaries. Communicate preferences. When you embark on the roommate relationship, you’ll want to establish some parameters and boundaries and communicate your likes and dislikes. Even if you are already friends, you may not know each other as well as you thought, so establish the basic boundaries. What temperature do you like to set the thermostat at? What noise level can you tolerate? Are you a morning person? Communicating all your preferences ahead of time will help to prevent misunderstandings later.
Don’t have a party without asking. Personal space is sacred. That means that just because you might feel like having 10 of your closest friends over to watch “The Bachelor” doesn’t mean your roommate is up for it. Just ask. If it’s been a long day for your roommate – maybe you take the viewing party to another friend’s house that night.
Resolve misunderstandings quickly and with compassion. Everyone has a bad day from time to time. Decide and agree from day one that you will resolve misunderstandings quickly, with compassion, and as functioning adults. Resolving misunderstandings begins with effective listening. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to understand how they are feeling. Even if it’s ‘not your fault,’ listen first. Choose your response from a place of compassion and with an intent to resolve the issue quickly and amicably. This is sometimes easier said than done, but with practice and patience, it does get easier. Keep an open mind and be willing to compromise.
Respect each other’s space. Don’t go into your roommate’s bedroom without permission. As tempting as it might be, don’t use their awesome skincare or haircare products without asking, and don’t ask too often. If you do, surprise them with a new bottle to replenish what you “borrowed.”
Respect each other’s social media privacy and preferences. Just because you are a social media maven does not mean your roommate wants their personal life to be an ongoing hashtag. Don’t post pictures of your roommate in their pajamas without their express permission. Respect their right to relax at home without the fear it will be chronicled to the rest of the world.
Have each other’s back. You don’t have to be best friends, but do share emergency information with each other and if one of you is in a crisis, has a flat tire, or needs medical attention, try to accommodate them. It’s a big world out there; have each other’s back whenever possible.
Establish financial boundaries. Make sure you have a written agreement on who is responsible for covering specific expenses. If you decide to split coffee, grocery expenses, or pizza night, then make sure to cover your half.
Consider hiring a housekeeper. A “clean house” means different things to different people. Consider hiring a housekeeper for the heavier cleaning and try to be respectful of each other’s space by cleaning up after yourself.
Have fun, but you don’t have to be friends. Lastly, you don’t have to be friends with your roommate. Sometimes friends make terrible roommates and roommates make terrible friends. And sometimes, roommates become friends for life. Either way, stay open, stay kind, and have fun!
What are your tips for living with a roommate? Share them with us at #LifeatWeidner.
-The Weidner Team
