Having roommates is a great way to lower your monthly expenses, and if you have a friend who is also looking to move, it can be extremely convenient. However, no matter how much you like a person or how long you’ve known them, living together can change the dynamic and lead to problems you didn’t think you would need to address. So instead of instantly calling it quits just because you don’t see eye to eye on everything, try resolving the issue first by using our helpful tips and tricks below.
Set a Time to Discuss the Matter
While you may initially think that a problem can be briefly mentioned in passing, it’s essential to bring it up in a formal setting if it’s important. When you first move in together, it might be ideal to set up weekly roommate meetings where you can discuss issues, successes, and really anything that might come to mind. If you establish this pattern early on, it will make it less awkward in the future when you have to have a serious talk with each other. When you both come to the meeting prepared, no one will feel attacked or bombarded, giving you both a perfect chance to share your feelings.
Don’t Attack or Accuse; Just Explain.
When you sit down to discuss the issues, don’t simply address a bulleted list of things they’re doing wrong, but rather explain how they make you feel. For example, instead of saying, “You forget to lock the door when you come home,” say, “When you forget to lock the door, it makes me feel unsafe and worried.” This way, you can discuss how their actions make you feel, rather than just listing their mistakes.
Get Ready to Receive Feedback As Well
Just because you are experiencing issues with your roommate’s actions and behaviors doesn’t mean the feeling isn't mutual. When you are given criticism or feedback, they will most likely come back with things you do that bother them, to even the playing field. Listen and respond without getting defensive. Consider how you would want them to respond to your issues and do exactly the same; this is a great opportunity to lead by example in listening, responding, and implementing.
Like living with family members, issues are sure to arise with roommates eventually, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t compatible; it just means you have things to discuss. Next time a problem arises with your roommate, keep this blog in mind. Do you have any questions about resolving issues with roommates? Ask away in the comments below.